What Coaching Is…
When talking to people who are interested in personal growth and coaching, I often get the same kind of question, “O.k. Jan, but exactly what is coaching? What can I expect from a coaching session with you?” – And those are very good question that deserve an answer.
The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines coaching as “a partnering with Clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” The process of coaching aims at unlocking the untapped potentials in the clients that help them to improve their creativity, productivity, leadership, and overall well-being.
A Simple Metaphor
A handy way to understand coaching might be to imagine that you are going on a road trip with a supportive passenger riding along with you. At all time during the trip, you are in control of the car and you decide where you are going. Your passenger, your coach, supports you on this journey, might give you directions every now and then, and helps you reach your destination.
When you work with a coach, you remain in the driver’s seat. Your coach partners with you on your journey and provides support for accountability and self-awareness. Moreover, the coach can help you gain new perspectives. The way the coach does that is by asking questions. However, these questions are not designed to get an answer that the coach expects or desires. Instead, they are meant to encourage you in meaningful exploration that may help you reach a new level of depth and personal insights. The focus of coaching is on facilitating individuals or groups to use their own experiences and capabilities to determine their individual path to success. In other words, “The coach is the expert in the coaching process, but you are the expert on your life journey.” (ICF)
…and what Coaching is Not
Understanding what coaching is may help you select the right coach. However, sometimes it is equally helpful to understand what coaching is not. Interestingly, coaching is often compared to or confused with mentoring or therapy. And that’s very understandable, because all three areas support a client in a certain area of their life and growth journey. However, there are some distinct and important differences between the three. Other areas of confusion include consultancy, Teaching, and even friends. Understanding the differences will help you choose what is best suited for you at your individual point in your life.
Coaching is Not Consulting
Consultants typically enter engagements to give their customers a set of potential solutions. The benefit for the consultant’s customer is that they usually get an immediate fix to an current challenge. While this is can be a valuable benefit for the customer, they may not necessarily get a sustainable benefit as they usually don’t learn how to get to the conclusions themselves. Consulting clearly has it’s place, both in corporate and individual consulting, but if lasting change is the goal a consultancy approach may not be the most ideal choice.
Coaching is Not Mentoring
A mentor usually is a subject matter expert who provides guidance and advice to clients and shares their own experiences. Mentoring may include advising or counselling and it may the choice when the customer has a knowledge gap that needs to be filled. Coaching, in contrast to mentoring, does not include advising or counselling at all. Instead, it focuses on individuals or group settings and reaching the clients own objectives. The mentor supports the relationship with the mentee by bringing in his own experience. While the mentee remains in charge of making the decision which of the mentor’s examples are worth implementing, the mentor takes a very active role in the process and provides solution ideas based on own proven experience. The coach helps the clients to develop these ideas themselves.
In short, both consultant and mentor “tell” the client what to do, whereas the coach “asks” questions which help the client to expand their perspectives and to find answers out of themselves.
Coaching is Not Therapy
A therapist typically deals with the healing of pain, trauma, or dysfunction, generally with the goal of resolving difficulties that impair an individual’s emotional health and psychological functioning. The focus of therapy is often on resolving difficulties arising from the past that hamper an individual’s emotional functioning in the present. It also aims at improving overall psychological functioning, and dealing with the present in more emotionally healthy ways. What coaching is, on the other hand, is the support of personal and professional growth. It is based on self-initiated change in pursuit of specific actionable outcomes. Coaching is future-focused, and the coaching relationship emphasizes action, accountability and follow-through. In short, one might say that therapy looks into the past to fix a dysfunction in the client’s present. On the other hand, coaching starts at the present time and looks to achieve goals and success in the future. Coaching only looks into the past for clarifying a client’s thoughts and emotions.
Coaching is Not Training nor Teaching
Other areas to differentiate from coaching is training and teaching. Generally, training programs are based on objectives defined by the trainer or teacher. Certainly, objectives are clarified in the coaching process as well. However, they are set by the individual or team being coached, with guidance provided by the coach. Moreover, training assumes a linear learning path that coincides with an established curriculum. In contrast to that, coaching is rarely linear or with a set curriculum. Both, trainer and teacher have the task to teach the client knowledge about a subject matter. The coach on the other hand does not intend to teach the client anything as “we are considering the client to be the expert in their own life and context. The coach will help the client to figure out how to use this knowledge to move forward towards their goal.” (ICF)
Coaching is Not Friendship
Often times, I hear people say, “I don’t need a coach, I have a friend that I can talk to.” To have such a friend is wonderful and very important! However, often times that means someone hasn’t fully understood what coaching is. The main difference btw a friend and a coach is that friends quiet naturally have their own agendas and, more often than not, they are all too happy to give advice. Coaches on the other hand are trained professionals who will never give personal advice. Instead, the coach will help the client find the answers they have already in themselves. Friends may not recognize or be willing to point out various issues that need to be worked on. Coaches are trained to challenge their clients in a supportive way.
